Using traditional Japanese tea ceremonies to resolve disputes

The traditional Japanese tea ceremony, which originated from the samurai period, can be used as a model for effective mediation

2025 December

While attending Lauren Wood’s Women in Trial Travel Summit in April 2024, I was moved by attorney Twila S. White’s presentation on voir dire. It was not the topic or what she was saying; it was her intentional, slow, deliberate, calm, and inviting speech that captivated the entire room by taking us on a journey. She made us feel comfortable and gave us time and space to acclimate.

Twila’s powerful humility reminded me of a tea ceremony I attended at Shokoku-Ji, a famous temple of mediated peace from ancient Japan adjacent to the Japan International Mediation Center in Kyoto, Japan. The tea master shared the history of tea ceremonies, the critical role of a tea master, and how the tea master’s intentional, slow, deliberate, calm, and inviting presence helped to foster peace between warring samurai clans. 

The Japanese tea ceremony history

The traditional Japanese tea ceremony springs from the samurai period and was shared by Chinese Buddhist monks in hopes of dealing with the rising conflicts of the era. During this time, samurai leaders would schedule meetings with opposing samurai clans to discuss and resolve disputes. The tea ceremony was cultivated to be a meeting place for leaders to have meaningful discussions.

The tea house structure

Traditional tea houses were constructed in an architectural design that forced guests of all ranks to humbly bend and crawl on their knees to enter a small, low, square opening – too small to enter with swords. Guests from opposing clans sit across from each other while awaiting the tea master. 

The tea master enters from another entrance and brings the tea kettle, bowls, matcha powder, hot water, and other utensils. The tea rooms and entryways represent the Zen concepts of inner and outer worlds. For example, when entering the tea house, you are physically and symbolically leaving the “outside” world and entering the “inner” world of the present. The philosophy is to create a space to resolve and find common ground.

The tea master

In Japan it takes approximately 20 years to become a tea master. Aside from the practical and procedural steps of the ceremony, the most important thing for a master-in-training is understanding the power and role of a master. As Twila demonstrated, masters learn the art of humble modeling, including a reciprocal appreciation of time and energy that brings people together. Like a tea master, a mediator must create the time and space to open opposing sides, carefully contemplate and appreciate the present, and step from their “outside” world unto an “inner” world of mutual vulnerability and promise. 

The guests

 In traditional Japanese tea ceremonies, opposing samurai were the guests and participants in the tea ceremony. Within the ceremony, weapons were not allowed, and special attire was expected to be worn, including unique socks. A formal tea ceremony uniform was required.

During much of the ceremony, the samurai would always kneel while communicating with the master. Yet, during communication among the samurai, they could usually sit. The samurai respected the master and would abide by any direction.

The tea ceremony ritual

The typical tea ceremony takes two-to-six hours to complete and involves over 15 steps combined with statements, questions, moments of silence, and languid movements. The tea master intentionally creates extra slow movements and steps to ensure stillness, calmness, and attention to being present. Each movement is carefully executed to move the session forward. 

As one can imagine, even the most untamed samurai would feel uncomfortable disrupting and disrespecting a tea master’s careful preparation of every second devoted to making tea.

Throughout this agreed-upon ritual, phrases and expressions are employed, including requests made to the tea master that extend beyond tea preparation or consumption. Instead, requests are for the honor of the tea master to bless the beginning of their meeting or to bless them when going their separate ways. 

The tea master may say before serving tea, “ichi go ichi e,” which means “one chance, one opportunity.” This saying underscores the idea of creating a space and being present for a positive and forward movement.

 It is not until the tea master has concluded all the steps and customary statements that the tea ceremony concludes. The tea house guests must make closing statements to the other guests, thanking them for being present. Again and again, the focus is on appreciating this temporal and opportune moment when they are all together and can make a difference. 

The result

A tea ceremony experience can teach the true art of mediation: to be like the tea master, to be intentional, to take time, and to give guests space to reflect upon and appreciate the special moment. When done correctly, as in most tea ceremonies, parties cannot help but mirror the humility and civility demonstrated by the tea master/mediator. Civility is the first indicator of a possible resolution.

Devin Tucker is a private mediator specializing in labor and employment disputes. She currently serves as director of outreach & engagement at the Mediation Center of Los Angeles, where she also instructs in the Advanced Mediation Training Program. Additionally, she teaches communication and cross-cultural mediation in the Beverly Hills Bar Association’s 40-hour mediation training.